Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Rejig

I am still not entirely sure what a split infinitive is, do you mean "to ever gain"? I'm not sure how to go about writing some stream of consciousness in past tense?

"You ready?" the stewardess asked politely.
I gulped and took a deep breath. "Yes," I whispered, struggling to sound confident.
It was my only chance to gain a place in this orchestra: next year I would be too old. I constantly told myself that there was nothing to worry about as I climbed the stairs, although I didn't really believe it. I realised that if I didn't give it my all, all those months of practising would have gone to waste. The door was finally in sight, I could't turn back now. I muttered some last minute words of encouragement under my breath, before reaching out and grasping the handle.

SS

5 comments:

Chris said...

Yes - "to ever gain" is one. It happens when you insert an adverb between the two parts of the infinitive of the verb - here "to gain". It's becoming perfectly acceptable to most people nowadays, but people like me don't like it. In Latin, where most of our grammar originated, the infinitive would be one word - 'amare' = 'to love' - and so could not be split in this fashion.

What you have written now is good. It reads well, and convinces me with its integrity. You've used a more appropriate verb in the last sentence, and you've dealt well with the thoughts going through your head at the time. Leave it now - it's good.

What do you want to do now?

duffy said...

Do you find it easier to answer to write about a personal experience?

the teens said...

Yes Duffy I do find it easier although I'm not really sure why. Chris made me realise that when I am writing I don't play a film in my head, so maybe when I write about something that has happened to me I find it easier as I can actually picture it?

Chris said...

That's a good point - and worth going along with.

Di said...

Hey girls, I'm glad to see you back online again. Good luck with the exam next week. I'll be doing it too, btw :)